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’ The Maiden sighed, ‘True enough. And here we get to the crux of why I am here this night. Gods think in terms of generations, Abiron. Faith is our wellspring and our curse. Any man who Ariadne brought to her bed would be worthy, indeed. But what of her child? And the child of that child? To allow a faith so pure to expire forever from the world could not be borne. We have seen it happen. A faith changes. The teaching of a god are twisted by their mortal followers. And what once was pure becomes polluted and foul.’ Her face saddened. ‘We may be gods, but We can still die. We took steps to ensure that We continued and this land remained safe.’ ‘How?’ The Maiden smiled. ‘One night, I came to Ariadne’s bed. I did not use any of the aspects that she had seen Me in previously.’ Her smile grew. ‘Oh, she had seen them all, and delighted in each. The merry children, the Youth and Maiden, the protective parents, and the wise oldsters. No, I came to her that night in a different form, that of. And the Lord God grimaced and an enchanted gust of wind blew forth from him. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And he saw that it was all rather asinine, but who cares? After all, he was God, wasn't he? What is omnipotence good for if the almighty can't enjoy a few.
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